Sunday, March 31, 2013

The obvious issue...

Many a times we say it is so obvious and why can't the other person see it. If you do some reflection and introspection on yourself you will see that you also have been like the other  person who could not see the obvious that some other person was seeing.

This obvious is not obvious has damaged relationships not only at professional front but also at personal front. While the damage at professional front can be managed by finding another role or job but how would one manage the damage on personal front.

So when i was thinking about why we become upset when obvious is not obvious i saw some of the reasons as below :

We at times become impatient as the obvious to us may take time to become obvious to the other and despite we knowing that it will take time we loose patience and the obvious then does not become obvious but many other things that were not obvious like fierce arguments or going into silence becomes obvious to the surprise of both the parties.

The obvious at times looks so real and permanent leaving no scope for any possibility of understanding what is obvious to us may not necessarily be obvious to the other person. In a Organisation setup the managers bulldoze their obvious on their reportees and contribute to the tradition of "people leave obvious managers and not organisation"

So how do we handle this obvious issue ?  I would like to suggest few obvious suggestions from my own experiences and would invite your obvious experiences as I am sure you will obviously want to contribute ;

- Watch out for situations where the tone of conversation heats up. That's the time you should challenge / understand your obvious more and see what could you do to help the other person see your obvious.

- When people just agree. This means that they are not even paying attention to your obvious. As a manager you may feel nice in short run but obviously in long run it will impact your managerial journey.

- When people don't do longer and deeper conversation with you because obviously they have given up on the idea that you will ever see anything that is beyond your obvious. This is the most dangerous situation and can lead to isolation over the period of time.

So a constant reflection on the above points, giving people opportunity to speak, spending time understanding each other will obviously help.  After reading this blog you may or may not get my obvious but I hope this obviously will help all of us in some way or the other in our personal and professional lives.

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